Watch me fall
by x0x
Summary: SasuSaku  F*ck love. F*ck everything that comes with it. F*ck all the emotional baggage. F*ck all the mixed feelings and tears. And most of all - f*ck you, Sasuke. F*ck you for not catching me when I fell.  AU, highschool fic, rated T - maybe M


**a/n **I wrote the first bit of this ages ago (quite literally a year+ ago) for a friend of mine who wanted to see a sample of quick-on-the-spot-creative-writing and it later grew into this. Give me your comments/criticism/concerns/questions/recommendations and whatever else you may feel the need to tell me in a comment and tell me if you think this is worth continuing, please. Kay, thanks.

**pairings** sasusaku [**&** naruhina / inoshika ]

**rating** either T or M. So far, T. Possible change if continued.

* * *

_Kill the lights,_

_These children learn from cigarette burns, fast cars, fast women, and cheap drinks,_

_It feels right,_

_All these asphyxiated, self-medicated; take the white pill, you'll feel alright._

_- _I'm Not Your Boyfriend Baby - **3OH!3**

**

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**

Opening my eyes, I gazed wearily at the fogged reflection for what seemed like an eternity. Bloodshot eyes stared back, it felt as if the world were closing in with each smoldering breath I inhaled. Tapping what was left of the burning death stick against the porcelain sink, I took an antagonizing long drag before releasing the smoke in tiny puffs. They floated to the ceiling, clouding the air with a foul tasting smog.

"Only three days left... three damn days.." I muttered to myself before dropping the nub on the ground and scraping it with my heel.

Pushing myself up from the hideously tiled, lint infested floor, I steadied my balance by grabbing hold of the paper towel dispenser hanging only a few inches above my head and lifting my body to a crouched position. After a moments break, I finally pushed myself to stand, joints aching wearily as I stumbled and grabbed desperately for the sink's water-covered counter top.

Holding on to it as if it were a life line, my eyes traveled once again to the dirty mirror above the sinks. The red, blotchy appearance that had once resided in my eyes had steadily dropped to a dull pink.

"Good enough. For now at least.."

Slowly, I turned the faucet on, letting the cold water splash into my cupped hands before dipping my face into my palms.

After a few moments of splashing my face, I finally turned the faucet off, shaking my hands dry while walking out of the dingy bathroom.

Taking a left, I attempted to walk at a brisk pace back to the room.

Big mistake.

Stumbling, my back slammed against the wall, I struggled, attempting to grab something to regain my balance. It took a moment before the pain finally hit, a slow, steady ache that ran up from my lower back to my neck. I hissed, teeth clenched, trying to ignore it as I continued to move, making my way down the hall.

After only three more knocks to the wall, a few more bruises to add to the collection, I stumbled again, leaning against the door frame for support, and broke out into a fit of giggles.

Because, ya know, that definitely helped with the whole "casual entrance" thing.

I looked up, meeting the eyes of about twenty other people, staring.

"Finally decided to join us again, Haruno?"

I smirked. A giggle bubbling at my lips, I pressed them tight together, forcing it to reside before responding "Sorry Kakashi, woman problems, ya know?" Watching him shake his head, I slipped my hands into my pockets and walked to my desk and he began reciting his lecture, once again.

When I had sat down, a note was thrown hastily on my desk, landing on top of my unopened notebook. It was clearly from Naruto, the crudely drawn fox in the corner being the significant identification.

Unfolding the paper, the crinkling noise hidden thanks to a _totally_ nonchalant cough (_hack_) courtesy of Naruto himself, I placed it flat out and let my hair hang freely, shadowing my desk completely.

* * *

**Please tell me you didn't. Please.**

**

* * *

**

I grinned, glanced at him quickly - meeting concerned eyes.

* * *

_**Alright. I didn't.**_

_

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_

Crumbling the paper into an oddly shaped ball, I took aim and flung it, the paper landing perfectly atop his book.

He unfolded it quickly as I dropped my book on the floor, crashing against the floor with an echoing "thunk", accompanied by the screech of chalk against the board.

"…Haruno…" He glared at me with his one visible eye, the other masked by a bandanna he wore across half of his face.

I smiled sweetly. "Kakashi."

Frowning, he put down his now broken piece of chalk before crossing his arms across his chest. "Haruno, your attitude has seriously begun to take a toll on my patience. I would much prefer if you referred to me as someone you can take seriously. I don't exactly care what you do outside of my classroom, so long as you pay attention during my fifty minutes of time with you five out of seven days of the week. Understood?"

I nodded my head and swiftly picked up my book, slamming it on my desk. "Understood, crystal clear, absotively-positutely perfect, Kakashi."

He closed his eyes, balling his hands into tight fists before breathing in deeply and releasing. He picked up his piece of chalk and resumed writing on the board.

Smiling, I leaned back in my chair and closed my eyes. Not even a second later, I heard the light tap of the ball landing on my desk.

Slowly opening it, avoiding noise at all costs, I finally had the damned thing unfolded.

* * *

**Nice show you put on.**

**How bout we just fold it in half, okay?**

**And now tell me you weren't lying.**

**C'mon, Sak.**

**

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**

Rolling my eyes, I quickly wrote back.

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_**I know, I should be in show-bizz.**_

_**Aw, but Naru-chan. That takes away all the fun!**_

_**I would, but then THAT would be a lie which would contradict the first lie. Ya know?**_

_

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_

Tossing the note lightly, I leaned back yet again and closed me eyes for a moments rest.

Waiting ever so patiently for the note from hell to return upon my desktop, I felt a pair of eyes burning a hole through my skull ever so _nonchalantly_. Turning around for a moment to do the typical flip-of-the-hair-over-the-shoulder only to notice that it was a certain Uchiha attempting to kill me via eyes. Those mysterious.. dark eyes..

I sent a small smile and wave his way, smirking a bit at the fact that his glare only grew ten-fold.

_I think it would be best to avoid him after class._

Just in time, the note landed flat on the desk.

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**What the hell, Sak. Seriously?**

**You promised you'd stop weeks ago.**

**You know how pissed Bastard's gonna' be...**

**

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**

Frowning, scrunch of the nose, slight glare.

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**_He's not my parent, neither are you._**

**_It's my choice and that's all._**

**_I'll get around to.. you know, just calm down._**

**_Class is almost over. Don't write back._**

_

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_

I threw the note back quickly and with a bit force, almost hitting Karin in the face with it in the process (although that wouldn't have necessarily been a bad thing; maybe even enjoyable) in which received a hefty exhale of breath and a death glare. Nothing out of the usual.

_Gotta' get my shit together before the bell rings or he'll be breathing down my neck in seconds.._

Gathering my things, I tried to play it cool until the bell rang.

_Freedom._

Gotta' get out.

Don't look back.

Don't.

Don't.

It was then that I felt the firm grip around my upper arm, I almost lost my balance for a minute.

_FUCK._

"Let go of me, now. I mean it. Seriously. Let me go."

My demands were useless, he was dragging me away from the clutter of the student body, students parting quickly and averting their eyes from the boy storming down the hallway with the girl being tugged along.

_Not like they'd step in to interfere anyway._

"Sasuke, I swear, if you don't let go of my freaking arm in two sec-"

He pulled my body around a corner into a desolate hallway before pressing me roughly up against a wall.

All the words that I had been ready to say, all the curse words I had been ready to scream at him, the kicking and screaming I had prepared to unleash upon him - gone once I looked at his face.

Damn him and that pretty face of his.

They stood there, unmoving, him still holding me in place against the wall as I stared into his eyes in silence. The last bell of the day rang after a few excruciatingly slow moments and he sighed, releasing the tight grip he had on my shoulders before turning his back to me and running his fingers through his dark locks.

"Sakura..."

I winced. No matter how strong a front I tried to hold in his presence, he was always able to break me down to the weak, shy girl I had once been.

"...Why? You promised me.. You promised all of us. Why..? You know how much it kills us seeing you like this..."

I scoffed, brushing off my shirt and making it a priority to look anywhere but his face.

"Its been a rough week, Sasuke. Cut me some slack."

Wrong move.

He spun on his heel quickly, his eyes cold, fists clenched.

"You don't think we all have it rough sometimes? You don't think we get stressed or angry or upset? Get real, Sak. Don't even kid yourself for one minute and try and play it off like you've got something else going on. We all know what happens. 'One thing leads to another', you start out with _this_ and it only goes downhill."

Sneering and crossing my arms across my chest, I quietly tried blowing my hair out of my face, ignoring him.

"...You don't get it, do you, Sak? You don't see it even though it's right in your face."

I scuffed my shoe against the tile a few times leaving a skid mark, not daring to say a word. I could feel him staring at me as I attempted to appear engrossed with my shoes.

"...Don't you realize how much we care about you..? How much I care about you..? Sakura... please..."

No matter how hard I tried to remain stiff, it always breaks my heart when he gets like this. I couldn't look at him. I couldn't talk to him. I just can't be around him or anyone right now, I can't see him hurt like this and know that it's all because of me.

"Sasuke... I've got to go."

Brushing past him quickly, I walked back through the now empty hallway and made my way to the front of the school.

My vision became blurred as the tears started to build up and with each foot of distance I put between us, another drop would fall.

Fuck love.

Fuck everything that comes with it.

Fuck all the emotional baggage.

Fuck all the mixed feelings and tears.

And most of all - fuck you, Sasuke.

Fuck you for not catching me when I fell.

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**a/n** Not really any major information given out here... more to come in the next chapter obviously. Tell me what you think and sorry if I'm a little rusty, it's been a while. (:


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